Ephesians 5:21; 6:1-4

[NOTE: As before, I am repeating my thoughts on 5:21, where Paul calls me to submit in all of the following relationships. First was the marriage relationship; now parent/child; then employee/employer.]

5:21

Submit – yield, give preference to; this does not suggest a lower value on me as the submitter; rather with my full value intact, I choose to give preference to you, to let go of my rights for the sake of yours.

to one another – two-way street. I submit to you; you submit to me. The trick is in submitting without keeping score. If I keep a running tally of who submitted last time, then I’m not really submitting.

out of – as a result of, evidence of, motive

reverence – respect, recognition of worth. Our submitting to each other somehow reflects on Him. Conversely, my pride or clinging to my rights reflects poorly on Him.

for Christ – the Anointed One

6:1

Children – Second pair of relations in which we live out mutual submission; offspring, younger than I, start out totally dependent

obey – do what you are told, follow instructions

your parents – adults who have authority and responsibility for you

in the Lord [NLT: because you belong to the Lord] – Easy to wiggle out of the command with the NIV, because that puts the burden of proof on my parents to demonstrate (a) that they are in the Lord and (b) that their instructions to me honor the Lord. But the NLT version puts the burden on me: I obey because I belong to the Lord, not because of anything particularly special about my parents. I’m tempted again to start a mini-sermon. Instead, I praise God. Our children went through the same phases as virtually all others in our society experience. If their obedience hung on my faithfulness to the Lord, it would have been a lost cause from very early in their lives. Instead, generally speaking, they honored our Lord Jesus Christ by obeying their parents. The pride I felt then and still enjoy today is purely the result of God’s miraculous work in their lives in spite of my issues.

for – because, logical reason to follow

this – obedience

is right – correct, straight, erect; by extension, doing right honors the Lord

6:2

“Honor your father and mother…” – respect, live in a way to contribute to others speaking well of your parents

“which is … with a promise – benefit tied to honor our parents

6:3

“that – in order that

“it – life events

“may go well – smoothly, minimize hardships, have enough of life’s basic necessities

“with you – in my life, although if I recall originally the context indicates a group ‘you’; so this original promise was intended for the people of God as a group and not so much just for me

“and that – second part of the promise

“you may enjoy – I can find pleasure in…

“long life on the earth” – Original quote in Exodus makes a clearer point that honoring parents—as a group ethos, part of their mores—would result in the Hebrews living in God’s promised land for a long time and living well as a community. Here in this verse, Paul tries to apply that principle on a narrower scale. On one hand, I know exceptions to the rule. On the other hand, the principle remains generally true.

6:4

Fathers – flip side of the second relationship illustrating or applying the command for mutual submission. Fathers = parents, responsible for providing for children the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual elements needed for them to grow to mature, responsible adults.

do not – command

exasperate [NLT: provoke… to anger] – frustrate, irritate, stir up, pique. Some frustration, et al., is unavoidable. This seems to point to intentionality. Now the word that comes to mind is “bully.” I need to feel secure enough in myself that I don’t need to bully my children in repeated attempts to prove my positional authority. Complimenting that is the notion that my children are people of worth in their own right. Their requests and suggestions are not automatically worthless. Rather, they may prove very worthwhile. Exasperating or provoking would immediately dismiss their input to a family discussion. Mutual submission by parents calls on me to encourage my children to contribute their input. This gives value to their ideas and thus imputes worth to the contributor.

your children – mine are in their 30s. But this principle never stops.

instead – contrast; replace the negative above with the positive below...

bring them up – raise them, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually

in the training [NLT: discipline] – tutor, mentor, “this is how you do it.” Our home did fairly well on the “do not exasperate” part. But we did not do well in the intentional training. I set an example in daily Bible study. But I never took the proactive approach to intentionally guide them in finding their own preferred method of Bible study and/or quiet time with God. Even now, I am not certain if they do so regularly.

and instruction – I think of training in terms of behavior patterns and positive habits to develop. I think of instruction as information, concepts, and foundational beliefs that I can pass along.

of the Lord – does this prepositional phrase modify both “training” and “instruction”? Or just the latter? I think it could tie in with both. [NIV: “discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”] So much that could be said about these terms [training/discipline and instruction] vis-à-vis “of the Lord.” But I keep trying to apply this exercise personally. And the fact is that my children are grown and gone. If I exasperated them, that was long in the past. I will just add the observation that the phrase “of the Lord” sets this discipline and instruction in a completely different category from other disciplines and instructions.